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December 8, 2000 - An Unexpected Guest
Welcome to 2TheHeart's Funny Friday!
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"By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task
completely overwhelm me." ~~Unknown~~
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AN UNEXPECTED GUEST
by Maxine Wright
We live in a small town in the South and most of our cultural activities come from the local schools, churches and community clubs. One of the club-sponsored events is the annual tour of homes held in December. My daughter and I love to attend this function to see old friends, make new ones but mainly to let all the beautifully decorated homes inspire us for the upcoming Christmas season.
A few years back, we were making our rounds to the homes on the map. We came to the fifth home on the tour and it was a very popular home. We had to park on the street and then made our way into the door. People were mingling on the porch and inside as we arrived and they did not seem at all anxious to leave. I could just tell that this was going to be a very special home. Valarie and I went on in and she stayed in the kitchen area as I made my way back through the house.
I was enjoying exploring all the rooms and as I was coming out of a bedroom, an older gentleman stopped me and asked, "Can I help you?" I told him no thank you; I just like to venture out on my own. He then asked me, "Do I know you?" I said. "Well, I do not think so but you might know my mother. Most everyone does." I told him who my mother was. He said, "No, I do not think I know her either. Did you come with someone tonight?" I thought to myself that this man is being a little inquisitive but not wanting to be disrespectful I said, "Yes, my daughter and granddaughter are with me. I think she is in the front of the house." He then asked me if I knew his son. By this time I was getting a little impatient and besides I wanted to finish the tour and find Valarie. I finally said "No sir, I do not think I do." Then in a somewhat disgusted tone of voice he asked, "Ma'am, I must ask you what you are doing in my home?" I told him that we were doing the Tour of Homes and he, looking a little puzzled asked, "What tour?"
I was beginning to get a hint that something was wrong when I heard Valarie calling me. She had already figured it out. We were at the wrong house. This home was not on the tour. They were having a party and we had not been invited!
Valarie was so embarrassed. But once I realized the mistake I could do nothing but laugh. Of course, I apologized profusely but the little gentleman thought it was as funny as I did. After he realized that I was not some kind of an ax murderer in his home, he got a big hoot out
of the whole thing. We both agreed that I had gotten my money's worth out of this year's tour since I was the only one who had gotten to visit his lovely home. I am sure he still tells the story of the crazy lady lurking in his bedroom to all that will listen.
Valarie and I still attend the tour every year but for some reason she insists that she drive and that I stay with her inside the homes. I wonder why?
Maxine Wright
Maxine@aroush.com
Maxine is 2TheHeart's March 2000 Writer of the Month and now also writes regularly for Funny Friday. She lives with her husband Larry in Georgia and loves her children and grandchildren! To learn more about Maxine, visit http://www.2theheart.com/writers_hall_of_fame/
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The Letter Box:
Dear 2TheHeart,
Chuck Dishno succeeded in making me laugh aloud so hard as I read his "Chapped Lips" story that I knocked over a glass of orange juice on my desk! This guy is a delightfully funny storyteller, and I do hope he keeps entertaining us with more -soon -often. "Funny Friday" kick-starts my weekend off great - Thanks so much, Susan.
Sincerely,
Sandi Pound.
Re: "Chapped Lips"
HEMORRHOID HEAVEN? LOOKS TO ME LIKE THE CURMUDGEON FROM DILLON, MT. REALLY HIT THE JACKPOT THIS TIME. HAVING BEEN A VICTIM FOR YEARS OF BLISSTEX BUTT BEHAVIOR, I JUST SAT AND ROARED OVER "CHAPPED LIPS." HAVING KNOWN THIS DELIGHTFUL MAN FOR YEARS I CAN TESTIFY THAT EVERY WORD IS THE TRUTH AND CAN HARDLY WAIT TO SEE WHAT HE COMES UP WITH NEXT. I NOTED YOU HAD NOTHING TO ADD TO THE PANTY STORIES BUT WANT YOU TO KNOW YOU'RE PUTTING US ALL TO SHAME, CHUCK! YOUR OLD PAL.......KATHE
CAMPBELL FROM BUTT(E), MONTANA
Dear Funny Friday,
Thanks for making my Fridays (which for me are a nightmare at work!) so much better with your stories. My favorite was the Kittty Attack, but Chuck Dishno's "Chapped Lips" had me LOL just as hard! I look forward to my Funny Fridays each week, as well as the spiritual lift I get daily from 2TheHeart.
Happy Holidays!
~Leisa, ME
Submit your funny stories to: Editor@2theheart.com
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