2TheHeart.com - Making a difference, one story at a time!

October 19, 2000 - The Unmemtionable

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning." ~~Catherine Aird~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Welcome to this week's edition of Funny Friday - to start your weekend off with a chuckle!

This week's Funny Friday story was a real surprise to me. Maxine is a regular contributing writer for 2TheHeart, and was our March 2000 Writer of the Month. Her story submissions to me so far have been touching lessons of the heart. This story showed me a whole new side of her!

"The Unmentionable"
by Maxine Wright

There are many moments in our lives that we hold tightly to and keep in our mind's tapes to play back often. Times with family, friends, hard work rewarded with success, and special events such as weddings, graduations and birth of babies. However, there are some memories that we would just like to forget and sometimes even wish they had never happen.

I have always thought that everything that happens occurs for a reason and rather good or bad there is a life lesson you can learn from each event. With that thought in mind, let me share with you one of those I-wish-had-never-happened times in my life.

I was a young mother and was working at the local hospital on the second shift. By going in at 3PM every day I only had to put my 3-year-old daughter in child care for 2 hours before her daddy came home.

As any good wife and mother would, I always tried to have the house clean, the clothes washed and the evening meal in the oven before I left to go to work. Of course the last few hours before leaving was the normal mad rush to get everything done.

On the day in question, I had been particularly scattered and it seemed the harder I tried the more things went wrong. My daughter was cranky, the beans scorched, and I was having a very bad hair day. So, when I arrived to work on time, I thought I had accomplished an impossible task and I was feeling pretty smug. That moment was very short lived.

I was standing at the nurses' station waiting for report before
beginning my evening duties. One of the doctors came and stood by me. He put his arm around my shoulder and began asking me how my day had been. This was in the 60's before all the problems with sexual harassment in the work place, so I did not think anything about this action. Besides, he had delivered me and had been my family doctor all my life. So, as we chatted, he asked me with a giggle in his voice, if I had forgotten to do anything before I left home. Feeling very
confident, I told him "No Sir". He replied with "Are you sure?" He then reached behind me, put his hand at the end of my dress hem, and pulled out a pair of panties and held them up for God and everyone to see! Well, I just about died! I really did want the floor to open and swallow me. I grabbed the panties and flew into the nurses' lounge where I stayed until I was sure he had left while the sound of laughter rung in my ears. I realized that in my haste of doing clothes, I had missed a pair of panties clung to my slip and they were hanging just below my hem for all to see.

I was never able to look that doctor in the face again without turning red and he always had that sheepish grin on his face when his eyes met mine.

Now, remember the life lesson? What did I learn from this? Well, let's just say that as soon as the static-cling products came on the market I stocked up. The experience also gave new meaning to every mother's advice of "Don't leave home without having on clean underwear!"

Maxine lives in Bremen, GA with Larry, her husband. They are
enjoying their autumn years together and their four grandchildren bring them many hours of pleasure. One of the biggest blessings she gets is when she receives feedback from dear readers that her stories have brought tears, laughter, joy and sometimes a life lesson to their lives. That is why she tries to write.

E-Mail: maxine@aroush.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."
~~George Carlin ~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Letter Box: (Sometimes our letters are as good as the stories!)

Dear Anne,
"My Olympic Moment" was so well written that I could almost see you flying through the air. I wish I could write like that. I've had a number of Olympic moments myself, but they were less athletic.

I'd like to tell you about one of them.

When I was 56 years old, (13 yrs. ago) my husband and I were heading for home after visiting with our daughter, her hubby, and our infant granddaughter. My husband was waiting in our car; he had opened the passenger-side door, gone to sit in the driver's seat to wait for me. He was used to waiting for me, still is! I was saying a few last parting words to my daughter, when I happened to step backwards off the top step of the small porch. The next thing I knew, I was sitting on my derriere on the grass. It happened that fast! I had missed the step entirely. Like you Anne, I had tears running down my cheeks from laughing so hard. My daughter and her husband ran to me to see if I was hurt, and that caused me to have another fit of laughter.

Finally..... my husband became impatient, so he got out of the car to see what was keeping me. When he saw me sitting there, he said, "What are you doing down there on the grass?" "I'm sitting here!", said I. Laughter again!

For some time after that, I was offered an arm whenever I started maneuvering those two steps. Sometimes my daughter still takes my arm when I descend the steps at her home. They moved. On this porch of theirs there are four steps.
~Pat Lowe

Dear Funny Friday,
I have enjoyed Anne Goodrich's web site and angel cards for some time now, as well as her poetry. I didn't realize her other hidden talents until I read her last two Funny Friday stories! I loved them both and look forward to seeing more from her in the future!
~Genevive

Dear Susan,
What a great addition Funny Friday has been to your 2theheart work! I know it must be a sacrifice for you to do all that you do, and I admire you for it. I look forward to my weekly Funny Fridays, as well as my 2theheart daily stories.
~Marlo