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March 11, 2001 - Shorties
Welcome to 2TheHeart's Funny Friday!
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Aloha!! I apologize for Funny Friday getting out late this week. I have been on an anniversary trip with my husband in beautiful Hawaii and wasn't able to send it out. Thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy the "Funny Shorties" today!
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"Instead of giving money to fund colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth." ~~Will Rogers~~ (submitted by Pat Lowe)
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Kelly's Answer
by Anne Goodrich
It'd been a long winter. The days had been bitter cold, the roads slippery, the shoveling back-breaking. Even the little field mice had had a hard time of it, and to my horror they had found the upstairs apartment I rented in an old house to be just the hotel they desired. But finally spring had come and the shovels, boots, and mousetraps were all packed away as buds of green appeared on trees and grass once more carpeted the ground.
Springtime also heralded Kindergarten Roundup, and my five-year-old daughter was bursting with excitement at the prospect of attending school the following fall. A kindergarten check up was required, and so we found ourselves in the pediatrician's office on a sunny April day. There was a physical examination and a battery of oral tests, and the doctor was almost finished with my daughter, who sat bubbly and eager on the edge of the examining table.
"Just a couple more questions," Dr. Johnson said, after Kelly had correctly recited her phone number and address, and sat looking pleased as punch. "Kelly, do you wear your seat belt in the car?"
"Yes!" came the eager reply. The doctor made another check on the form on his clipboard. "And do you have a smoke detector in your house?" he asked. Now I saw worry furrow my daughter's brow as she wrestled and pondered her answer.
"Noooo . . ." she finally answered slowly, and then her face lit up. "But we have mice!"
My face started to turn red with embarrassment, but I shouldn't have worried. That was the only time I've ever been in a physician's office and seen a doctor laugh until tears ran down his face. In parting, Dr. Johnson suggested that we might want to get a smoke detector in addition to harboring rodents. He was still wiping tears from his eyes and shaking his head as we walked away.
Webmaster@ohangel.com
Anne Goodrich is webmaster of OhAngel.com, 2theheart's sister site. Anne possesses several smoke detector's now, and unfortunately has just discovered that a little mouse has taken up residence in her home. Daughter Kelly is now a senior at Hope College in Holland, Michigan - a future elementary teacher and an excellent (and brave) eliminator of rodents.
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From "The Women's Dictionary"
"Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend 1/2 an hour writing, then forget to take to the store."
"Exercise (ex*er*siz) To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase."
"Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he hasn't realized it yet."
"Blonde jokes (blond jokes) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them."
"Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See 'Magician'."
~~Women's Dictionary~~
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"One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course." ~Unknown~
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The Letter Box:
NOTE: Beginning next week, we will be publishing email addresses with Letter Box letters. If you prefer not to have yours posted, let me know in your letter. It's a great way to make friends who share your interests! ~SF
Susan,
I hope you can stand one more letter about the spider story. I am terrified of spiders. One morning as I was leaving for work, I got in my car and started it. It was in the garage. I put the car in reverse and started backing out, when out of the corner of my eye I saw a spider. I totally freaked out and jumped out of the car. Of course, the car was still running and plowed into the side of our garage. I had fun explaining that one to the insurance company.
Michelle
Dear Funny Friday,
I just joned both your lists and love them! You do a great job and your Funny Friday starts my weekend off the right way! And thanks for the reminder of "Stages of Inebriation". I'll try not to even get to the "Best Looking" in the room stage!
Mike, Stockton, CA
SUSAN!! I just finished reading your last funny friday and cracked up! I love this list - thank you for all your hard work! I know you have a lot right now with your sister and family and many responsiblities. I don't know if anyone has told you lately, but you are appreciated! Thanks for bringing many laughs with this list and may Life Lessons with 2TheHeart!
Hugs,
Michelle
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My Mom and the "Chocolate Pot"
Pat Lowe
I was thinking, back to a funny experience many years ago when my mom decided we needed some hot chocolate. This was when I was visiting my folks in Seattle with two of my wee ones.
The kids were down for naps, and Mom decided we needed a special time for just the two of us. She opened her China Cabinet, and brought out what she called her China "Chocolate Pot" and two of the cups and saucers that matched. She brewed some cocoa on the stove the old
fashioned way, and poured it into her treasured "Chocolate Pot", which is rather tall and slender. She served the hot chocolate with some of her yummy homemade cookies.
Since the cups are demitasse sized, we each had a few refills, until we drank all of the delicious hot liquid.
Mom took the pot to the sink to wash it, and to her surprise there were five $1.00 bills in the bottom of the pot. She had tucked them away and forgotten them. What to do? First we
laughed ourselves silly, and then Mom washed the pot and the dollar bills. She hung the bills on the clothes line down in the basement to dry. After that experience, Mom hid her money in one of her otherwise empty sugar bowls.
That "Chocolate Pot" with six matching cups & saucers had belonged to her grandmother, and now I have the set safely stored away in my cupboard. I think I had better print the story of that funny "Chocolate Party" we shared some 45 years ago. My youngest daughter will inherit the set someday, and I want my only granddaughter to have it. I wonder if I dare to put the story inside the pot for safekeeping.
pawlowe@televar.com
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Submit your funny stories to: Editor@2theheart.com
Feel free to pass this on to your friends!
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