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May 25, 2001 - All Ees Quiet! Welcome to 2TheHeart's Funny Friday!
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Happy Memorial Weekend! Take a few moments this weekend to honor the men and women who sacrificed so that we might enjoy freedom. Have a safe weekend!
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"The 10 Commandments contain 297 words. The Bill of Rights is stated in 463 words. A recent federal directive to regulate the price of cabbage contains 26,911 words."
- The Atlanta
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"All's Quee..ite"
by Sandra Smith
I don't know if I can do justice to this story or not,especially on paper... it's one my Dad always told, about one his WWll experience's...One of the funnier ones...It seems, the 1304th Combat
Engineer's Batallion were in their tents, hunkered down somewhere along the China-Burma Road - just a bunch of boys really, missing home, talking about the things they missed the most...(For Dad,I think it was real food...he never ate rice again after the war.)
One of the boys next to my Dad was writing to his family. Now, as Dad put it, this fellow was what you might call slow. Of course, back then a lot of young men finished their education on a battlefield, and proper grammar and spelling were not a priority. He asks of the group, "How do you spell...quiet?....and a fellow comedianresponds.... "you spell it with a quee.....buddy...ite", to which the soldier responds "Thank you."
A few minutes later, Dad said the fellow reached over and nudged him, and said "Homer......just exactly how do you make a quee"?
I grew up hearing many stories about those fellows, that my Dad served with, building the China-Burma Road. I also watched my Dad, many times in the through's of a feverish delerium, he had to contend with, at times, for the rest of his life, after contracting malaria in the war... and this Memorial Day, I am looking forward, to next year, when my Dad's name, along with thousands of others, will be forever, acknowledged on the new WWll Memorial being built in Washington.
All those who gave their lives and sacrificed so much, I thank you - Dad and all the others, for all you gave. I am honored to be your daughter, Dad.....Happy Memorial Day...and God Bless Us All.
Sandra B. Smith
homergrl@yahoo.com
Sandra lives in Mobile, Alabama with her husband, two sons and several pets. She was 2TheHeart's April Writer of the Month, with her winning story "Do You Know Who Your Child Is?"
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"When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns."
- Al Franken
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The Letter Box:
Dear Susan,
As we get ready to get out of here for a long weekend, I thought it timely to pass this along. All of the men in my family (except my 16 y.o. son), served in one of the wars. I know folks who have gone to "the show" described below and come back (usually a very different person) as
well as those who went ......and never came back.
Sometime this weekend, whatever your plans are, take a minute of your day and raise your glass to them. It's what this weekend is all about.
I'll leave you with this quote from George Orwell.............."We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm."
Don't ever forget what this weekend is about..............and pass it on.
~Pat Kellemeyer
PKellemeye@aol.com
As we honor our veterans:
THE THINGS THEY CARRIED
They carried P-38 can openers and heat tabs, watches and dog tags, insect repellent, gum, cigarettes, Zippo lighters, salt tablets, compress bandages, ponchos, Kool-Aid, two or three canteens of water, iodine tablets, sterno, LRRP-rations, and C-rations stuffed in socks. They carried standard fatigues, jungle boots, bush hats, flak jackets, and steel pots. They carried the M-16 assault rifle. They carried trip flares and Claymore mines, M-60 machine guns, the M-70 grenade launcher, M-14's, CR-15s, Stoners, Swedish K's, 66 mm Laws, shotguns, 45 caliber pistols, silencers, the sound of bullets, rockets, and choppers, and sometimes the sound of silence. They carried C-4 plastic explosives, an assortment of hand grenades, PRC-25 radios, knives and machetes. Some carried napalm, CBU's, and large bombs; some risked their lives to rescue others. Some escaped the fear, but dealt with the death and damages. Some made very hard decisions, and some just tried to survive.
They carried malaria, dysentery, ringworm's, and leaches. They carried the land itself as it hardened on their boots. They carried stationery, pencils, and pictures of their loved ones real and imagined. They carried love for people in the real world, and love for one another. And sometimes they disguised that love: "Don't mean nothin'!" They carried memories! For the most part, they carried themselves with poise and a kind of dignity. Now and then, there were times when panic set in, and people squealed, or wanted to, but couldn't; when they twitched and made moaning sounds and covered their heads and said, "Dear God," and hugged the earth and fired their weapons blindly, and cringed and begged for the noise to stop, and went wild and made stupid promises to themselves and God and their parents, hoping not to die. They carried the traditions of the United States military, and memories and images of those who served before them. They carried grief, terror, longing, and their reputations. They carried the soldier's greatest fear, the embarrassment of dishonor. They crawled into tunnels, walked point, and advanced or flew into fire, so as not to die of embarrassment. They were afraid of dying, but too afraid to show it. They carried the emotional baggage of men and
women who might die at any moment. They carried the weight of the world, and the weight of every free citizen of America.
THEY CARRIED EACH OTHER.
Remember them this Memorial Day May 28th
Rick Kellemeyer
arkayassoc@aol.com
Funny Friday,
'Menopause is overrated' - Join the club ! Isn't it awful to feel glad that its 'not just me' that these things happen to ? And with me its not the menopause, I'm past that long ago. Never mind, somebody loves me - just as I am, or so he says.
Margaret Drysdale, Yorkshire, England
Dear Sue Henley,
Your story "Menopause is Overrated" had me cracking up! I am at "that age" (NOT the teen years!) and often hear myself saying and doing things that downright scare me! I'm glad I'm not alone! Thank you for your story!!!
~Jill Michaels, CT
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"I envy paranoids; they actually feel people are paying attention to them." - Susan Sontag
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For great Memorial Day links, visit:
A site about heroes: www.nightstalkers.com/tfranger/poems/heroes.html
A nurse who survived the Pearl Harbor attack gives her personal account
at: www.history.navy.mil/faqs/faq66-3b.htm
Pearl Harbor Remembered (a series of links)
www.execpc.com/~dschaaf/mainmenu.html
Pearl Harbor Attacked: www.pearlharborattacked.com/ (Incredible graphics!)
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Submit your funny stories to: Editor@2theheart.com
See our new online store! www.2theheart.com/our_store_/
Feel free to pass this on to your friends!
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