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November 19, 2000 - Prepared For What?
Welcome to 2TheHeart's Funny Friday!
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"I just clipped 2 articles from a Thanksgiving magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie." ~~Erma Bombeck~~
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I apologize for Funny Friday actually being "Funny Monday" this week. (Doesn't have quite the same ring, does it?) Our list service was down all last week. I am taking this Friday off, so look for your next Funny Friday story by Chuck Dishno December 1. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
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PREPARED FOR WHAT?
by Maxine Wright
Holiday time of the year is great but I guess it leaves us all a little ragged and tried from all the fuss and bother before hand. Well, last Thanksgiving, I was determined that I would not let the holiday leave me feeling like a wet dishrag. So, I planned everything down to the last detail. I organized when I was going to buy groceries, bake, clean and even get my self dolled up. The Sunday before the big Thursday, I was
getting ready for church. I was running a little late and I went in a separate car from my husband.
I got to church and drove around back to park. As I went around the corner I heard this awful noise. You guessed it. I hit the corner of the church with my van. I got out and prayed that it didn't do much damage, knowing that from the noise I heard that would be a miracle. The whole side of the van. Well, let me just say it was not a pretty sight. My husband was very sweet but he did want to know what caused me to hit the church. I told him I just did not see it. He had a hard time understanding that statement; we have only been going to the same church for 25 years.
That unscheduled incident was the first mishap of the season and should have been my warning of what was ahead. As the week progressed, I thought of everything I could do ahead; I shopped on Monday night, baked and cleaned on Tuesday night and fixed as much as I could ahead on Wednesday night. On Thursday morning, I got up before everyone, showered, dressed, and went in to prepare breakfast. I put my platter on the stove so my bacon would stay warm as I cooked. I got everything out of the refrigerator ready to put it in the oven. I put my corn on and I must say, I was very proud of myself. At this rate, I would have everything prepared and have plenty of time just to make memories.
Well, I made memories ok. But not the kind I had envisioned. I was putting my corn on and I heard a strange sizzle and smelled something scorching. I knew it was not the corn because I was stirring it. I looked around and then KA-boom - the plate on the stove exploded and glass went everywhere. And I mean everywhere - into the corn, into the dressing on the table waiting patiently to be put into the oven, into the pies ready to be eaten, EVERYWHERE! I just stood there in stunned silence. No wonder my corn was not scorching, the eye to that pot was not on. The bacon platter's eye was on high. Vanessa was on the phone with Valarie and she said, "I have to go. Mama has exploded."
I felt like exploding but I just started laughing. Steve and Larry came in and just stood there in awe of what they saw. Elizabeth, my 2 year old granddaughter came in and said "Oh, my. What's that?" We all laughed again, but I think my laughter was turning to tears. Both men were very smart and was very careful not to give me any kind of lecture or say what I am sure they were thinking. I could not believe that I
had been so careless as to turn on the wrong eye.
We surveyed the damage and then one by one gave all the dishes of food up to the trash. We had glass in the eyes of the stove, all over the floor, the table, even in the living room and dining room. I did not know that there were so many particles in one plate.
After my wonderful family helped me clean up the mess, we started over. We all chipped in and started cooking fresh in between the laughter of us all. Luckily, I had enough in the pantry to make do and we were very thankful that the only causalities were the food. We had a few more mishaps during the course of the day; the pie ran over in the stove and caught fire, a gallon of tea was spilled and I fell out of the truck while it was moving. Now, that is a story for another
time.
I guess no matter how hard you try to avoid the stress of the holidays, it comes anyway. It is just part of the day. The good thing about that day was we did make memories. Some we will not soon forget. And just think - Thanksgiving and Christmas are only a few weeks away. I think I will start planning now.
Maxine Wright
Maxine@aroush.com
Maxine loves the holidays with all the trimmings. She has a friend who, over the past few years has taught her that it is not the things you do that are important, but the memories you make while you are doing them. That is what makes everyday a Holiday! Maxine is 2TheHeart's March 2000
Writer of the Month, and has written countless inspirational stories found in our archives. To learn more about Maxine, visit our Writers Hall of Fame page: www.2theheart.com/writers_hall_of_fame/
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"Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase." ~~Erma Bombeck~
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Sooz, I keep forgetting to tell you what wonderful stories you're running in the Funny Friday and regular list. What a great calibre of writers you're getting as contributors! Of course you remain the Queen. :-)
~ Anne
Hi, Susan...so HAPPY to get this today....still enjoying your 2thehearts and "funnies" as much as ever...keep up the wonderful work! It was a treat to get this today. Thanks a million...
~Rita S.
Re: The Bus Ride
What a wonderful story! Thanks for sharing.
~EH Phillips
Dear Susan,
I just wanted to tell you how much I look forward to my Funny Friday stories! It's a great way to start the weekend and I want to thank you for doing such a great job!
~Anna I.
Submit your funny stories to: Editor@2theheart.com
Feel free to pass this on to your friends!
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