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November 9, 2001 - Dink's Victory
Welcome to 2TheHeart!
"One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love." ~Sophocles
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If you saw the title for today's story, you probably already know who wrote it... Mr. Big himself. Alan's story of Dink's Victory Day is a tear-jerker, so have a box of kleenex handy. It is also a shining example of how we can create miracles when we join together to do God's work.
"Dink's Victory"
by Alan Coleman
After fighting Lou Gehrig's Disease for two-and-a-half years, my wife, Dink, finally won the battle in March of 2000. The following week, I sent this email to several friends that I hadn't been able to talk with personally. In the subject line I wrote "Dink's Victory."
Hey guys,
This is Alan. I don't know if you've talked to anyone from Charlotte in the last several days so I wanted to share some news with you. On Tuesday morning, March 28, Dink beat the disease. She laid her head back against the chair she was sitting in, then quietly and peacefully gave up the fight. Over the previous month our communication was limited to her writing imaginary letters in my
palm. She had developed a twitch in her right hand in the last ten days, or so, and the palm writing had become increasingly difficult to decipher. She knew, and I knew, as bad as things have been the last two years, they were going to get a lot worse if we lost the ability to communicate. I firmly believe in my heart she decided it wouldn't be worth the fight if we couldn't "talk." So, when her sitter for the day arrived here less than 30 minutes after our son had left for school, Dink was already gone. No signs of struggle or discomfort, just peacefully sitting there as if asleep. She went the way we ALL have told people WE would like to go when it's our turn: her terms, her time, in her own home, in total victory. Our mantra the last few months has been: "Wellness is temporary, wholeness is eternal." I am so very proud of her and many times more than that, I am so very happy she is whole again. I'm OK now, because I know she's OK now. I would much rather have talked with you guys in person about this, but more than that, I wanted to make sure you knew about her
before you returned to Charlotte again. You guys will remain in my prayers as we all stay...
Firmly in His Hands,
Alan
Her memorial service was nothing less than a Victory Celebration. A number of people came up to me after the service and said, "Alan, this doesn't sound exactly right, but I actually enjoyed that service." All I could say was "Me too."
There was, indeed, nothing sad about it because all we did was celebrate her life. Our former pastor, Jack Wilson, started the service by saying there should be a large Smiley Face on her casket where some people put a family crest. He also related one of his favorite stories about Dink's wit and attitude. The story recalled one Sunday when Dink was still using her walker and we came out of the church with the Wilsons. I asked her if she wanted me to go get the car from the back parking lot so she wouldn't have to walk so far. She shook her head negatively and started pecking away at her communication device announcing, "Eat my dust!" Jack witnessed the exchange and howled with laughter, just as he did again when he shared the story from the pulpit.
When I woke up that morning and started getting ready for the service, I felt compelled to do something during the service to show the gratitude we felt for all the help we had received over the past two-and-a-half years. I knew there would be more people there than I could talk to personally, so I wrote something and asked Len Strozier,our current pastor, to read it for me. I had no idea it would be such an awesome moment. He introduced this by saying, "I want you to hear Alan's words:"
When we met for a while with Len yesterday, he kept telling us how today would be Dink's day. We would, of course, be worshiping and praising God, but it would be through the uplifting, remembering, and celebrating of HER life. When I thought about this later though, something occurred to me. There's no way we can fully capture her spirit without honoring some other people, so I would like you to do something special for me. It's a little different, so please bear with me.
If you ever came out to the house to sit with Dink, please stand up and remain standing.
If you ever sent or brought a meal out to our house, please stand up.
If you ever assisted her at the hospital, please stand up.
If you ever shared a financial gift with us, please stand up.
If you ever lifted us in prayer, please stand up.
At this point, Len ad-libbed: If you ever had one of Dink's hugs, please stand up.
Now everyone look around.
A lot of wonderful words have been shared with me about the witness and inspiration that Dink and I have been to you. A lot of people have wondered how we could handle things as we did and others have questioned whether they could do the same. But, I know you all could. You would do it just as we did. You see, we didn't do it alone. What you see standing all over this sanctuary is the vehicle through which God gave us the strength to endure.
Thanks. Please be seated.
I'd like to paraphrase a story we're all familiar with. It's the one about the guy who's walking down the beach and he's been through a real tough time in his life. He looks behind himself, sees only one set of footprints in the sand and wonders why God has abandoned him. Jesus appears to him and says "You don't understand, those are MY footprints. I was carrying you."
When Dink got to the end of what she called "Our Great Adventure," and she looked down the beach behind her, she saw hundreds of footprints.
I will always be amazed and overwhelmed at the faithfulness you showed as YOU carried us.
-Alan
When Len finished reading the "If you ever..." statements, the entire congregation - over 600 people - was standing. It was an extraordinarily spiritual moment as we collectively realized how, in taking care of Dink, we had all been part of a God-sized Victory.
Alan Coleman copyright 2001
bigal@teamflamingo.com
To learn more about ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease) visit:
http://www.alsa.org/index.cfm
Alan is our Writer of the Month for August 2001. You can read more of his beautiful stories on our Writers Hall of Fame page:
http://www.2theheart.com/writers_hall_of_fame/
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY to 2TheHeart favorite writer Deb Simmons! Deb's birthday is this Sunday, so don't forget to send this special lady an email or ecard to make her day terrific! We love you Deb!email: simmons@pathwaynet.com
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As I say in the end of my story, "You are one of my Heroes," and I'm so grateful you and your brothers were willing to risk your own safety to insure the safety of so many.
With the deepest respect,
David Sims
sims-usa@juno.com
2theheart,
There are not too many stories that make me cry, but the Firefighter's Story surely did. What those brave firefighters have to endure, makes my heart ache with sorrow. Especially when there are little ones that have lost their lives. I can't imagine anything more heartbreaking than being unable to save a life, or anything more horrifying than losings one's life in a fire. It makes me have the greatest respect and pride for all firefighters the world over. Charles Francis Farrell's story is one that everyone should read, given the events of the world in the past few months.
~Maria Harden
mharden@escape.ca
Dear Charles,
Your first part of the Firefighters Story was so fascinating and fun to read. I learned a lot of how difficult it is to become a firefighter. Your part 2 was even more touching and the part about the children just broke my heart. I can't imagine how it must be to have to deal with this as part of your job and how you have to go on after that experience, and I'm sure, many like it. It takes courage to continue saving lives even though it must have given you nightmares for a long time to come. I admire all firefighters and thank you for opening up this world for those of us who know very little about it. You are a hero.
God bless you,
~Teri Davis
2theheart,
Praise the Lord for encouragers. Both readers and writers at this site write the nicest, most encouraging response notes to the daily stories. Some of the responses are almost as good as the original story, so I would encourage the "noters" to become story writers too!
And the special lady named Geena deserves a thanks from us all. Her short, sweet, well-worded, kindly, enthusiastic responses to her reading on 2theHeart are like a ray of sunlight, almost daily. I sincerely appreciate her positive comments and willing spirit.
~Mary-Ellen Grisham
fantasy@apci.net
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