December 21, 2000 - Misc. Funnies
Welcome to 2TheHeart's Funny Friday!
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Happy Holidays! Send free Christmas, Chanukah, Holiday, angel, friendship, inspirational and MORE ecards from www.ohangel.com!
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The Washington Post recently published a contest for readers in which they were asked to supply alternative meanings for various words. The following were some of the winning entries:
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Carcinoma (n.), a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are some recent winners:
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
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Christmas Cow
Our 2 year old grandson, Brice, was to be in a Christmas pageant. When he was told that he got to be a little lamb his reply was, "I don't want to be a lamb, I want to be a cow." They told him, "We need for you to be a lamb."
However, when it came time to actually be a little lamb there were several tiny kids that were tromping down the aisle, all saying "baa baa". However, our little lamb was determinedly saying "mooo mooo".
by Grandma, Wilma Mets
wmets@mindspring.com
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Have a warm & happy holiday and we will be back next Friday with a hilarious story by Kathe Campbell about a Daquari mix-up!
Feel free to pass this on to your friends!
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