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March 29, 2002 - Grandpa's Lessons
Welcome to 2TheHeart's Funny Friday, to start your weekend off with a chuckle!
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This week's Funny Quotes:
"Sometimes I feel as if my body is just a vehicle for carrying my
head to my computer." ~Tom Peters
TOP Things to do at the mall:
*Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond.
*Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
*Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack.
*Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents.
*At the bottom of an escalator, scream 'MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!'
*Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD
prices are in pesos or rubles.
*Follow patrons of B. Dalton's around while reading aloud from 'Dianetics.'
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Cora is such a prolific writer that her stories are featured in both 2TheHeart's daily inspirational AND Funny Friday today! Check them both out!
"Lessons from Grampa"
by Cora Campbell
My grandfather was truly a wonderful man. I would like to share some of the lessons I have learned from him during the short time I had with him. (only 19 years)
One day when I was quite young, my grampa took my grandmother and I out for a drive down to the international peace gardens. Enroute he mistakenly turned down the wrong side of a divided highway. Both my grandmother and I alerted him to this fact to which he replied, "oh well there must be another exit down aways." We continued merrily along the wrong side. This event taught me two lessons... no matter which road you take in life, there is always another exit! AND Learn to be a defensive driver!
Another time I was playing out back of his house with a girlfriend when I found a dollar bill. I was so thrilled because back then a dollar was a great find! I went running into the house and excitedly told my grandparents of my find. Gramps asked where I had found it and I told him out behind the garage, to which he calmly replied "must be mine then" and took it and pocketed it for all time. That taught me to never brag when you are rich, for wealth can be fleeting.
I remember driving home from the lake with just he and I in the car. I was watching out the window when I heard snnng snnnng SNNNNG SNNNG. I reached for the steering wheel and held it steady while calling his name until he woke up. That taught me to always be a backseat driver. To this day I thank God for straight a ways!
Sitting in my grandparents kitchen one day my grandmother leaned back in her chair to put the peanut butter on the counter behind her. My big strong Granma was down on the floor under the table before you could blink. I laughed so hard to see this sight, not quite understanding that it was purely a defensive move as Gramma was prone to throwing things in temper. Grampa sheepishly got back up off the floor saying he thought he dropped something. This lesson taught me that a large mass can move at the speed of light and that a loved ones dignity outshines your own.
He was carrying a TV from our house to see if he could fix it. As he approached the main sidewalk he tripped and went flying. Trying to catch his balance he went running across the boulevard but would not drop that darn TV. He hit the curb and flew through the air landing on his hands and shins. With blood pouring from his knuckles he got up and put the saved TV in the car. He got in the car and started rubbing his shins. When he lifted his pant legs the blood was pouring down his legs. That didn't matter, he had saved our television. This taught me two things.lift your feet when you walk, and there are times in life when the end just doesn't justify the means.
My grampa thought yield signs were put there so that everyone else had to yield to him. Pulling on to a major street he just went smoothly into the traffic without batting an eye. When horns did blare he would say "I don't know what their problem is, they all have brakes." This taught me that sometimes walking is better than getting a ride and to always watch out for the other guy!
Many evenings were spent when my grampa would read Robert Frost's poems to me and then play the fiddle. In his day he was a self taught marvel but by now with two fingers all but useless due to carpentry accidents (he sawed them almost off) it was hardly music that could soothe the soul. To this day though I would give anything to be able to hear that screeching so filled with love that it was truly music to the ears. He taught me to never give up on something you enjoy doing.
All kidding aside he truly was a marvellous person with a heart of gold. I love him dearly and thank him for all the lessons passed down. One lasting lesson is determination and stubbornness are two entirely different ideals. The trick is knowing which you are using.
Cora Campbell Copyright 2002
clc@escape.ca
We are what we have learned. In this train of thought I have lots to thanks my grandfather for having "taught" me. I love to write about any and everything and remember my Grampa with fondness and laughter, as he would have wanted.
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The Letter Box:
Thanks , I needed to read that story by Sue Henley. I was aked by my sister to join a weight club with her, and like Sue I am "QUIT"
overweight and also much older, so I feel exactly like sue did. I
still do , but maybe I'll get over it.
Sassyann325@cs.com
Sue,
Thanks for the great story! It reminded me of my first visit to a gym after the birth of my first son (he's 29 now). I was "only" about 25 pounds overweight at the time, and like you, I looked around and said, "Where are all the fat people (besides me)?" The elastic in my only pair of "exercise pants" were stretched in the waist (probably wore them when I was pregnant!), and when I tried to join in the aerobics class -- they kept falling down! Today, I'm more than "only 25 pounds" overweight --- and the thought of walking into my local college-town gym (full of beautiful size-6 sorority girls) scares me to death! I applaud you for braving the local YMCA! You go, girl!
- Karen DeLoach
kdeloach@frontiernet.net
http://karendeloach.tripod.com
Hey Sue Henley!
You wanna know where all the fat people are??? We are sitting here at our computers reading your story and cracking up laughing because we don't have the courage to walk into the YMCA with you!!! Way to go, my friend! I love your spunk and your Erma Bombesque style of writing...!
Love,
Amanda Krug:)
krug_family@iquest.net
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