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February 28, 2002 - God, How Can You Use Me?
Welcome to 2TheHeart!
"The greatest high you can get in life is by helping somebody."
~TIMOTHY STACKPOLE N.Y.C.
Firefighter who perished while rescuing people in the World Trade Center attacks
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This is a powerful example in using our lives for God's will. Betty is a powerful writer and we will be seeing more of her stories in the future! Send her an email!
GOD HOW CAN YOU USE ME IN THE CONDITION I'M IN?
by Betty King
"God how can you use me in the condition I'm in?" I have asked that question more than once in my life.
It was a hot summer day; I tried filling it to capacity. Despite being a young mother of four active children I still found time that morning to take in a round of golf with the girls. The afternoon was spent with my kids at the local recreation club we belonged. I worked at perfecting my diving skills while the kids splashed and played, soaking up the sun's penetrating rays. The late afternoon and evening, we spent at the ball field where our oldest son played Little League baseball.
I noticed dizziness and a blurring of my vision but brushed it off thinking I had just over done in the heat of the day. Over the next weeks the symptoms only worsened and I was hospitalized and given the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis.
That conclusion was reached over thirty years ago. I was less than happy with the verdict but did not let it defeat me. I have never really blamed anything or anyone for the sentence that was doled out to me that day. I did question what the revenge of such a disease would mostly mean and what were my options for treatment. I then decided to live my life the best I could in spite of the likely conclusions I was apt to face.
I have never been able to understand how people can blame God turning against Him blaming Him for the misfortunes that come to their lives. It's in the valleys of my life that I need God the most. He is where I draw my strength. I'm not saying I have never called out asking Him "Why?" That is only human nature and I am sure God understands our anguish; after all Jesus called out as He hung on the cross, " My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me?"
I've always taken my circumstances pretty much in stride. I've cried of course and wished things were different. I've mourned for the way things use to be, but I've gone on the best that I could, doing most of the things that I wanted using first one aide and then another. I've been down and depressed at times I can't deny that. I've been scared to death of what tomorrow might hold and I still have those fears to this day. My biggest fear is that I may become a burden to my love ones. I fear to some extent I already have. Being a very independent person before my illness, dependence on another has always been my biggest concern.
Through the years I have had some bad times; I seen more and more of my abilities wane from me. MS has tried to suck the very essences of who I am. I have lived with numbness for years; I have experienced blurred and double vision. Pain as been a part of my persona and medications has almost doubled my size. Medicines have weakened my bones; falls have resulted in painful breaks. My unsteady walk gave in to the use of a cane, then two canes, then a wheelchair on occasions, then to the full time use of a three wheel motorized scooter. I no longer drive a car and depend on others to take me to the places I want to go. I have been so tired and weak at times I just wanted to die. Besides physical problems I have experienced family problems, financial and business problems. Like everyone else I have faced my share of adversities.
My husband and family have always been there for me, yet they have not always understood. The doctors even do not realize the extent of difficulties and suffering MS people deal with. Through all of my hardships and trials though, there has always been someone beside me that I could count on, that is Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior. He knows of my afflictions, He suffered far more than I. He realizes my distress when others fail to understand for He too was misunderstood.
I have prayed for God to keep me on my feet; I didn't have to resort to my three-wheel scooter until my children were all raised, that was a blessing and an answer to prayer. I have prayed for a healing; I've prayed for the ability to rise above this disease to endure it, to witness in spite of it. I have asked Him time in time again, "How can you use me in the condition I'm in?" It has then been He directs me to this passage in the Bible:
2 Corinthians Chapter 12 verses 7 through 10 in the Living Bible, it reads: Because these experiences I had were so tremendous, God was afraid I might be puffed up by them; so I was given a physical condition which has been a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to hurt and bother me, and pick my pride. Three times I begged God to make me well again.
Each time he said, No. But I am with you; that is all you need. My power shows up best in weak people. Now I am glad to boast about how weak I am; I am glad to be a living demonstration of Christ power, instead of showing off my own power and abilities. Since I know it is all for Christ's good, I am quite happy about insults and hardships, persecutions and difficulties; for when I am weak, then I am strong - the less I have, the more I depend on him.
I am no saint, just ask my husband! But because of Christ in my life and His walking beside me, carrying me at times, I'm able to hold my head high and continue on. I have not always been someone God could be proud of; I've not always been proud of myself. But because of God's goodness and His love and forgiveness and His strength I can face whatever may lie before me. I pray that through the sickness I must endure and the weakness that grips me, that He may be seen in my spirit and that the love I have for Him may spill over to those my life touches. For without Him I am nothing; with Him I am everything He wants me to be. When I am weak, then he is strong; the less I have, the more I depend on Him. My prayer now is, "God use me in whatever condition I'm in."
Betty King copyright 2001
baking1@qwest.net
I live with my husband Bill in Phoenix AZ. We have been married 44 years and have four grown children and nine grandchildren. I have had MS for well over 35 years. I depend on God each day as I travel through life with MS. He is my strength; with Him I will be and do all that he wants of me.
See Betty's truly inspiring story "God's Glue" in our archives and her gorgeous photo with her sweet hubby on the "Today's Story" page!http://www.2theheart.com/today_s_story
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The Letter Box:
Dear Gloria,
I just have to say how touching your story was. I appreciate our great country and it's good people so much more these days. Your story showed just how good it's people are.
Thank you,
~Barbara
I wanted to share with you a letter from one of our 2TheHeart family and also our web site award recipient:
Dear Friends of Lighthouse,
This is a special issue of the Keeper's Log to fill you in on a few important topics.
WEB SITE IMPROVEMENTS
For the past few months, the Lighthouse Song & Sign Ministry web site has seen little improvement and, in fact, has suffered from some neglect. That has now changed. Our links are all working, as are our email cards. Our information is more up-to-date. Our church and ministry listings are growing rapidly. And our bookstore has been rebuilt so it is more convenient and easier to use. All of that is thanks to our new webmaster, Chris Cummings of Tennessee, who has been working feverishly for us for the past two months. Stop by and check out the What's New page and then go exploring for all the new and improved offerings. And while you're there, take a minute and sign our guestbook. That's working now, too.
AND FINALLY, A PRAYER REQUEST
Sonya has been laid off from her job as a social worker for the state of Massachusetts. This is due to budget cuts. We know this is part of God's plan for her continued travels on His path of service. We ask that you pray that He make His will clear to Sonya and that His will be done.
God bless you all,
Mark and Sonya
Lighthouse Song & Sign Ministry
info@lighthouseministry.org
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