April 13, 2001 - The Dark Night
Welcome to 2TheHeart's Funny Friday!
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"I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter." ~Unknown
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"Anything that is good and useful is made of chocolate." - Unknown
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Happy Easter & Good Friday! I hope you have a beautiful and blessed holiday. Today's quotes are in honor of Easter. :-) Next week's Funny Friday will be my own story about Jr. High flashbacks. ~Susan
"The Dark Night"
by Sue Henley
I've always been a coward....no if's, ands or buts about it! That USUALLY kept me out of a lot of trouble! My fear of getting in trouble with my parents was equal to my fear of God's wrath.
Joni has been my best friend since 5th grade. We were probably around 16 and she was with Terry, her boyfriend at the time....and I was with Randy, my boyfriend. I think we were looking for a place to PARK. Now my daddy had warned me repeatedly about not parking.....but, I didn't always listen. We were driving around an unfamiliar part of the city and Randy took a turn onto a gravel road. At the end of the road was a HUGE concrete wall! It must have been 100 feet high with a little set of concrete steps to the top.
Looked like a prison to me. Everyone wanted to get out and see where it led and what was up there. "NOT ME!" I said. The three of them slammed the car doors and there I was alone in the total darkness! "OK.....wait on me!" I yelled as I made my way up those tiny concrete steps.
It was SO dark and there were no lights on. It was taking a long time for our eyes to adjust. No moon.....no stars at all! Joni and Terry are laughing and Randy tells them to quiet it down or we could get shot! Get SHOT? "Really, Randy.......can't we just go?" He tells me we're not going to get shot....but, we could get arrested for trespassing and then he grins. My praying kicks into a much a higher gear and my grip on his hand would not have been separated by dynamite!
The whole area is concrete and it just goes on and on. We spy a whole area with swings, slides and a merry go round. We head that way when the ground gets really soft under our feet!
"Randy.......this feels wi..er..ddd." He pulls me towards him and starts to tell Joni and Terry to be careful when we hear this *POP*.......*POP*.....*POP*, *POP*, *POP*, *POP*, *POP***!!!!!!! And then a big splash!
We were walking on a swimming pool cover and Joni and Terry had fallen into the Olympic size swimming pool! If they had arrested me for trespassing.....or shot me...nothing could of contained my laughter! There in the dark were these 2 drowned rats trying as hard as they could to find a ladder to get out of there! I was so weak with laughter that I couldn't even help them out! Thank goodness it was dark - no telling
what the that water looked like in that pool in January! While they were sputtering and muttering we headed back to the car. I'd have to stop every few feet to hold my sides due to my hysterical laughter! It was about 15 degrees so we heard teeth chattering the whole way to my house.
Joni's mom was more strict than mine, so we went in to my house to dry her out. I agreed to it with the strict stipulation that no one was to mention we were looking for a place to park. My poor mom spent an hour ironing Joni's wool skirt dry! Her mother never knew until many years after we both were married and were sitting around telling stories.
The next day after church we drove around in the daylight to see if we could find the front of the house. It turned out to be the Mayor's home. Thank heaven we weren't arrested or shot!
Sue Henley
doupray2@multipro.com
Sue is a regular conrtibuting writer for 2TheHeart and this is her first Funny Friday story. She has been a nurse for 26 years and has been writing for about 2 years of some of her experiences with patients and her family. She has two wonderful daughters and a pretty cool son-in-law! Also one grandpuppy! We hope to see more Funny Friday stories from Sue in the future!
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"A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands." - Julie Sutton
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"Don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate!" - Uter
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The Letter Box:
'Lap of Luxury' . What bravery to take on a car like that! Just imagine if you'd got a REALLY up to date one! You might never even get inside it! Sometimes I spend days wandering round the house muttering 'I can't handle this new tehcnology' when faced with only such things as a washing machine, cooker, not to mention the computer. (I said not to
mention the computer !!! Please !!! )
Recently we visited an elderly relation, whose vacuum we'd fixed, only to find when she'd emptied the dustbag, she'd also thrown out the sliding bag closure, then put in the new bag, open at the bottom, which promptly sucked in all the dirt at the top and blew it straight out at the bottom. As she hadn't opened it since, she didn't realise it was all piling up inside waiting to attack the moment it was opened. And guess
who did that? You're right - me !
Margaret Drysdale, Yorkshire, England
mallott@lineone.net
Dear Deb,
I love your story, it is so funny. Believe me, you're not the only one who has had problems with car keys, and other new fangled vehicle gadgets.
I have a 1993 Oldsmobile. When it was new, the first time I took it out for a drive was to attend an evening meeting. The next morning I was ready to drive down to have my hair done, when I got into the car, it wouldn't start. Luckily my husband was home, so I drove his truck. Later in the day, my husband charged my new car's battery for me. It seemed I
had turned on the overhead light the night before so I could see to remove the key from the ignition, and I forgot to turn off the light.
Many years before I also had a new car. I remember driving my mother to town, and not being able to remove the key from the ignition. This was in broad daylight. There was a secret,and I finally found it in the instruction booklet. Whew! The last little incident, about a year ago, was very embarrassing. My husband had given me a short driving lesson in his brand new truck. I passed with flying colors. On the day of my dental appointment, my car was in the garage for a grease job, so I drove the new truck. After I parked, I couldn't get the key out of the ignition. Finally the kind dentist's receptionist phoned the local company that sold us the truck (we live in a small town). The owner of the business drove to the dental office and showed the receptionist the secret to removing the key. I was busy having my teeth cleaned.
I think I would be in BIG trouble if I had a car like yours.
~Pat Lowe
pawlowe@televar.com
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"I filled out an application that said, 'In Case of Emergency Notify.' I wrote 'Doctor'... What's my mother going to do?"
- Steven Wright
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