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September 7, 2001 - CPR
Welcome to 2TheHeart's Funny Friday!
New Grandparents' Day ecards on 2TheHeart! Designer Anne Goodrich has created absolutely perfect cards for this occasion, so don't forget to send a card for Grandparents' Day, this Sunday!
www.2theheart.com/grandparents
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Jesus loves the little children. Will you love one too? Please
sponsor a child online for only $24 a month. Make a difference in the life of a child with Save the Children. Please do it today!
http://www.qksrv.net/click-404250-1194232
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Sweatshirt weather is just arond the corner! Order your 2TheHeart soft and warm sweatshirt today! Choose from our logowear or writers' sweatshirts - all are made from the best Hanes brand and have a 30-day money back guarantee! Order your cuddly sweatshirt now! www.2theheart.com/our_store_/
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Yes, yes, I know it's kinda sick. And no, don't send me letters
telling me so. I am a cat lover, too! However, this story was too
funny not to share!
CPR (not what you think)
by Chuck Dishno
This story took place when I was about 12 years old in my home town of Bly, Oregon. Bly was a small logging town of about 400 in Southern Oregon. My dad, who I called Pop, was a great man who grew up on a cattle ranch in the Big Hole Basin of Montana. Pop was born in 1884 and in those times a few years of schooling was all that most kids, especially boys, received. There was too much to do on the ranch to take time out for something as trivial as and education, so the 5th grade was about it, if that much. By that time he had learned to read and write and do basic arithmetic, all that was required around the farm. Even though Pop wasn't very well educated he wanted me to excel and was always interested in what I learned in school.
One Saturday afternoon, I was on the sidewalk in front of the house and was swinging a bucket of water around in a circle. When pop came out and saw me he asked what I was doing and I told him that we were studying centrifugal force in school and as long as you kept the bucket swinging the water wouldn't spill out. He said he knew a little about that because when he was a kid on the ranch and would milk the cows, he and his brother would do it with a pail of milk on their way back to the house.
A few days later he came out again and saw me swinging a bucket and commented about my scientific experiments. I told him that I knew it would work with water and he had told me it would work with milk so I wanted to see if it would work with cats! I then stopped the bucket at the bottom of the arc and 9 or 10 half grown cats of all colors exploded out of the pail like a furry rainbow and staggered across the lawn. Pop thought this was a good experiment and after we stopped laughing we tried to catch the cats to do it again. Nothing doing, they disappeared very rapidly as soon as they got their "land legs" back. I never did get to try the "centrifugal trick" again. I'm sure if I had, I might have been recognized in the scientific community as the Einstein of Bly. There might have even been a new meaning for CPR - Cats Per Revolution.
Chuck Dishno copyright 2001
dishgov@mcn.net
I am a retired printer living Dillon, Montana I enjoy writing vignettes of my life and am compiling them for my children and grandchildren. See Chuck's Funny Friday stories "Big Kitty", "Chapped Lips", and Scooter Pie" in our archives! www.2theheart.com/funny_friday/
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This week's Funny Quotes:
"Grandmothers are the people who take delight in hearing babies
breathing into the telephone." ~Unknown
"Grandmothers are good at sitting on the floor to play, but they can be terribly difficult to get upright again." ~Unknown
"Grandmas outlast tyrants. That's why the world survives." ~Unknown
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Mary Kay end of Summer specials! Email Kay Jones for sales at
kayjones@trailnet.com, and visit her web page to see all the
wonderful Mary Kay products! "Bee" All That You Can "Bee". Shop Online With Me!
www.marykayintouch.com/kjones17
www.mkvelocity/kjones17
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The Letter Box:
Kathe,
You crack me up!!! I really must add a visit to your home (and
mountain) to my list of "100 Things I Want To Do In My Lifetime." The entertainment alone would be well worth any price one might pay for the trip! Granny Hook -- you just keep getting better and better!
Sooz --
Deb's "Far-Flung Fears" also brought a smile to my face, and I enjoyed Margaret Drysdale's response to Deb's story. I, too, rode a really scary ride last year (with my 10-yr-old son and husband) just to display Mom's bravery to her son. I truly thought I was going to die right there on that ride. My head repeatedly bounced left-to-right so fiercely between the so-called ear protectors (made of foam -- yeah, right) that my brain was pounding inside my skull. I clenched my teeth tightly (to avoid biting off half of my tongue) and I prayed silently, "Lord, please just let me get off this ride alive and I'll never ride another one." I have to admit I must not have been quite as afraid as Margaret though -- I did NOT promise to have another baby! LOL!!! She cracks me up too!
Love your Funny Fridays -- keep 'em coming!
Hugs to all,
~Kim Murray
Good grief, Kath!
Are you trying to kill me? I almost swallowed my tongue envisioning you plunging in to grab your drowning phone and then trying to talk in a straight, business-like manner as you answered it. If only the caller on the other end could have seen the predicament you were in at that moment! Thanks to you and your shenanigans, now my stomach hurts from all the laughing.... :-)
Only you could tell that story... and I'm so glad you did. What a
breath of fresh air you are in this dreary old world. However, from
now on, Susan might want to consider posting a warning before all
your humorous stories: "This story may induce serious fits of tongue-swallowing, stomach-cramping, coffee-snorting laughter. Read at your own risk." Love you--soggy toilet paper notes and all!
~Deb Simmons
Dear Susan,
I just love your Funny Fridays, and Kathe Campbell's "Toilet Seat
Blues" had me in stitches! I haven't laughed so hard all week! That
woman is something else - with her stocking up on margaritas ("Bags With a Kick"), and her toilet fixing, she is NOT your average granny! I admire her too!
Love,
~Geena
Dear Kathy(Cambell),
I laughed at the humour in your Funny-Friday story, of changing the toilit seats! I have a girlfriend, who after losing her husband, wanted to show her family her ability to be independant. Her toilit seat needed to be changed. The bolts were stuck! She tried everything she could think of to loosen them. Giving up, she tried tapping it with a hammer. This did not work. So, she put a little more strength into the "tapping." The results: needless to say, a big chunk of porcelin flew off, leaving a big hole in the rim of the bowl. The entire toilit had to be replaced!! Thanks for your funny story, Kathy... it made me smile!
Irene Parsons
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