June 29, 2001 - Bad Day
Welcome to 2TheHeart's Funny Friday!
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The problem with the designated driver program is, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
~Jeff Bridges
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"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning." ~Catherine Aird
This week's Funny Friday had me laughing even long after I'd read it. Horn-honking to scare each other is something we do in our family too, and sometimes the results are more than we hope for, as you'll read in Ken's story...
"Bad Day"
By Kenneth L. Pierpont
I spend a lot of time waiting in the van for my family to get in so we can go places. One of the things that keeps me from getting hostile about that is that I get to scare them by beeping the horn when they walk by the front of the van. It's just one of those little ways I save money on therapy.
We love to go places together, though. One summer evening we decided to go to town and grab pizza for little picnic. We picked up our pizza and some ice and pop and headed for the park. On the way we saw some model airplanes flying over a field. We drove over and parked to watch. It was a great spot for a family picnic.
We got out and set up our lawn chairs to watch the planes and enjoy our pizza. I got a big orange pop in one hand and a plate of about three thick slices of extra-cheese pizza in the other and settled into my lawn chair.
I was hungry. Every cell in my body was concentrating on devouring that pizza. My chair was sitting right in front of the grill of the van.
You guessed it.
My first born got the bright idea that he would startle me by beeping the horn. He slipped into the van from the back door, stole quietly forward, and then just as I put my big cup of orange pop up to my lips laid on the horns. They were about ten inches from my head.
At the time I weighed in at least 270 pounds so I'm sure the little lawn chair was over the legal load limit. When the horn sounded I lurched and that baby instantly collapsed in a pile of twisted aluminum. I ended up on he ground. My family and a half dozen strangers gathered around to belly laugh at me lying there with a half an extra-cheese pizza on my chest and baptized in orange pop. I don't remember anyone helping me up. (They couldn't have done so without a block and takle handy anyway).
After the humiliation of that as you can imagine I had to leave town. I could never be taken seriously as a man of the cloth again.
There is a moral to this story and here it comes. You reap what you sow. And when you do reap and sow the results will usually not be funny like my little story here.
Ken Pierpont copyright 2001
ken@kenpierpont.com
Ken Pierpont is a story-teller who pastors in Fremont, Michigan. He and his wife Lois have four boys and four girls. Kenneth authored "How I Came To Love Stories", found in 2TheHeart's archives. Read other stories he has written at: http://kenpierpont.com In the last year he has lost over 100 pounds and is at his ideal weight. You can read about that on his web site.
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"By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me." ~Unknown
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Dear Susan,
I just wanted to drop you a note and tell you how much I enjoy Funny Friday. Each story makes my Friday better and the quotes are often ones I post on my bulletin board at work. It's gotten so that on Friday afternoons, the office staff will one by one mosey over to my office to read the latest quotes. Thanks for bringing a lot of smiles and laughter.
~Bob Bain
Dear Susan,
Adored Kathe's "Donkey Ridin'" story! Her writing just gets better and more interesting! I could almost feel the dust on my shoes and hear the donkeys hee-hawing as I read about the kids learning to saddle up. Kathe has a knack for finding a plethora of humor in ordinary occurrences. What a delight! And the way she wrote this as if we, the readers, are privy to the conversation between instructor and students, makes the story even more wonderful. Love it, Kathe!
Sincerely,
Sandi Pound
Kathe My Dear,
What a HEE HAW I got from reading your hilarious story about DONKEY RIDIN'. I needed that! I'm still a bit under the weather, but I havent' missed reading any of the great stories by all of the authors in 2theheart. You are all wonderful.
Kathe, you are, and always will be tops in my book!
Love & Hugs,
Your "Sis", Pat Lowe
Kathe,
Your donkey riding story was hilarious and I loved your editorial comments as you coached the kids! Keep the Montana stories coming!
~Barb
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