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August 4, 2003 - "Nellie's Hand"
Welcome to 2TheHeart!
"God knew I loved you too much to just be your friend, so He let me be your sister." ~unknown
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IT'S SISTER'S DAY! Whether you're sisters in real life or sisters of the heart, Chicken Soup for the Sister's Soul celebrates the sisters you are today - and the sisters you were long ago -- sharing, caring and helping each other through life's ups and downs. It's not too late to order this perfect book from Abbey Press: http://www.qksrv.net/click-404250-1099253
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This story just melted my heart! It made me miss holding my own lil' sis's hand. Happy Sister's Day to my sister Lisa, my heavenly sister, Angel, and all my friends who are my sisters of the heart!
"Nellie's Hand"
by Bobby Smith
Many of my childhood memories are blocked, but there are a few that I hold dear to my heart. While most are shaded with sadness, they also hold precious moments with my siblings.
My father was abusive and immature and my mother was mentally ill, so I learned at an early age to take care of myself and to stay extra quiet when dad was in, "one of his moods". My days were always tinged with fear, but children are resilient, and I found ways to be joyful amidst the turmoil.
I was seven years older then my baby sister. Nellie was an audacious child, so on the days when we needed to be quiet I would make up secret games in which we had to sneak around in silence, or hide under the covers from an imaginary villain. Little did she know that the real villain, was just down the hall.
Nellie was my second shadow. She looked to me for entertainment and sometimes for food. There were days when mom wouldn't get out of bed. Nellie would cry from hunger so I would take her out in the back yard to my walnut stash. I had a large rock with an indent in the middle. It was perfect for cracking my black walnuts. I used a smaller rock to crack open the nuts and one of mothers hair pins to pick the meat from the shell.
Nellie would squat down beside me and watch wide-eyed as I proudly displayed my skills, then as I dislodged the meat from the shell she would hold out her little hand. I watched her eyes light up, as she munched happily on the golden nuggets. That would go well for a while, until my stomach would start grumbling with hunger. That little hand would reappear, just in time for the next hulled meat.
"Wait Nellie," I would coax, "I need one." She would tuck her little hand back in her lap, watching with eager eyes as I quickly ate mine and went back to work on another for Nellie.
Through the childhood years and into adulthood, that's the way our lives went. I was always the big sister, filling Nellie's hands with whatever she needed at the time.
Nellie suffers with the same mental illness that my mother had. The day she was diagnosed, I refused to believe it. I drug her to every doctor I could find, looking for a different diagnosis, but I didn't find one. I was angry with God. Why would he allow Nellie to be born, only to suffer all her life with this endless nightmare? It was as if I'd been diagnosed with the illness myself . . . or maybe worse. Here was something that I didn't know how to fix. It broke my heart. All I could do was be there for her, and try to protect her the best I knew how.
There came a time in our lives when a family tragedy rendered me helpless. Our sister Judy was killed in a car wreck and I found for the first time in my life, I was the one needing help. I approached Nellie that day like a broken vessel, wondering how I could help her when I couldn?t help myself. As she opened the door, a strange thing happened. She saw the pain in my eyes and she reached out her hand . . . that little hand that had always been so needy, was now offering strength. As I collapsed in her arms, I could feel her hand patting my back as she spoke. " We'll get through this together. We always have." It was in that instant that I understood clearly for the first time, how important Nellie was to me. All those years I thought she needed me, but I never realized how much I needed her. I had needed someone to care for. I had needed someone to entertain. God in his infinite wisdom, sees to our needs in ways we often don't understand.
I now thank God every day for Nellie's life, and all the treasured moments we've shared.
Bobby Smith copyright 2003
Indy113@yahoo.com
My husband and I took early retirement, downsized our lives and moved into a log cabin, nestled in the wooded hills of Arkansas. I enjoy writing poetry and short stories, many of which have been featured in E-zines. 2the heart featured my "True Love" story and two poems, Dancing Holly and On a Clear Day.
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MAKE A DIFFERENCE! Our newest branch of 2TheHeart is truly making a difference! Angels2TheHeart is a group who sends love, encouragement and "happy mail" to those who need it! Learn more about this fantastic group here: www.2theheart.com/angels2theheart
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Sisters
Sister, here is a helping hand,
Let me pray that in trouble you will stand.
Sister, I see the tears running down your cheeks,
Let me help give you strength when you are weak.
Sister, are you not seeing clearly His will for your life?
Let me help point the way to His guiding light.
Sister, are you longing for your father's touch?
Let me hold you and not say much.
Sister, do you need a friend who loves Him too.
Let me be the one he sends to you.
Sister, sometimes do you feel your feet might slip?
Let me help steady you on this heavenly trip.
Sister, Do you need someone other than Him to depend?
Let me be the one in friendship he sends.
Sister, do you need to be encouraged along the way?
Let me tell you the times you have made my day.
Sister, do you know how much He wants us to share?
Let me challenge you always to care.
Sister, with your life can you cope?
Let me be the one to help give you hope.
Sister, in all that happens in your life,
Let me be a part and never bring strife.
Sister, let me be all that you have been for me.
A loving Sister in God's precious family.
By: Charlotte Eiland
copyright l997
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