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August 30, 2001 - Dink's Angels
Welcome to 2TheHeart!
O passing angel, speed me with a song,
A melody of heaven to reach my heart
And rouse me to the race
and make me strong.
~~Christina Rossetti~~
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When I read today's story, I found tears streaming down my face. I too knew some angels, only they were "Angel's angels". I have a feeling that Alan's Dink and my baby sister are kindred spirits.
"Dink's Angels"
by Alan Coleman
It was December, 1999, and my wife Debra (known affectionately as Dink) was nearing full-time dependance on caregivers as a result of her two-year battle with Lou Gehrig's Disease. Her only means of communication was an electronic device that could speak what she typed - with her one good hand - and she was in a wheelchair. She was, however, still working at Newton General Hospital (NGH), doing chart reviews and quality assurance duties. This was Dink's response to an administrator's concerns that the strain of working might adversely affect her condition:
"On the contrary, being here boosts my immune system because I love it here. I go on the energy I glean from those around me, so I seldom get tired. If I poop out, I sit back and breathe deep. If I'm really feeling bad, I have an army of Moms that can skirt me away. But even tired, I feel better here than home alone. If I am tired of work, I clock out and piddle around til time to leave. So there you are: my secret for livin' on love."
Around four o'clock on the afternoon of Wednesday, December 8, I got a call from the Human Resources director at NGH. He said, "Alan, we need to meet with you and Debra. When can you come in?" I told him, as a school teacher, I had to work every day and it would be the next week before I could arrange some time off, but he pressed, "We really need to meet tomorrow." As we continued talking, he persisted and I relented so we made an appointment for the next morning.
Dink heard the conversation and realized who I was talking to. When I hung up the phone and looked at her she was crying and pounding away on her LightWriter, "I WILL NOT LET THEM FORCE ME TO QUIT!" Her eyes were glaring in a way that confirmed she would not negotiate that point.
Wanting to refocus all of the emotion I could see on her face, I said, "Well, work on your argument and get it bullet-proof so we'll be prepared tomorrow." I don't remember exactly how much planning she did for the next morning's meeting, but I do remember neither of us could sleep much that night.
When we got to the hospital on Thursday morning we met with the HR director and the Nursing Services director. Dink was incredibly tense as I wheeled her into the office, because she was "loaded for bear" and ready to fight it out. Knowing Dink as they did, though, the managers were very shrewd. They told us the emotional and physical strain on the people who worked closest to Dink (and therefore were her primary caregivers at the hospital) was beginning to effect the caregivers' ability to perform their other duties. Dink immediately softened. In fact, she didn't even ask any questions for clarification because she was more adamant about not burdening her friends at work than she was about staying on the job. We listened distantly as the managers explained the details about the separation of service, then we all cried, and I took her back home. It was a long, silent drive.
There were only a couple of weeks of school left until Christmas holidays started, so Dink stayed home by herself during that time. Before leaving for school, I would set her up in the recliner with her Bible, another good book, and the remote control for the TV. I'd also put a movie in the VCR that she could watch if she wanted. There was one movie she watched almost daily and she would cry every time she watched it. I said, "Baby, you cry every time you watch this and you watch it every day...how many more times are you gonna watch it?"
"Until I can watch it without crying."
"Okay, dear."
I would come home each day at lunch to give her a potty break and feed her, make sure she had everything set up for the afternoon, including another movie if needed, then head back to school. That system worked fine for those ten or twelve days, but I knew I would have to make other arrangements for January. What I didn't know was the fact that those arrangements were already being made.
According to the Bible, your good works here on Earth don't get you into Heaven, but they do influence the size of your heavenly home. Ardis Young and Lynn Wojcik must have mansions beyond imagination waiting for them there. Ardis, calling on members of our church, and Lynn, calling on the staff at NGH, put together a team of volunteers that came in to sit with Dink when school resumed in January. They handled the entire matter: recruiting, scheduling and even training the ladies, whom we called "Dink's Angels." In fact, there were many days I would leave for school, not knowing who would be coming in that day. Some of the ladies were nurses, but many were not. Some took time off from work to come in. Some could come only for mornings, others only for afternoons and a few could stay the whole day.
Once or twice, I came in at lunch and had to say, "Hi. I'm Alan. Who are you?" because I had never met that particular sitter. I never had to think twice about the entire operation because Ardis and Lynn were so dedicated and took total responsibility for everything from the very beginning. There's no telling how much money they saved us,and I can't even begin to estimate how much stress they personally eliminated from our lives. I wish I could adequately express my gratitude but, as yet, I have not been authorized to create new words for the English language and that is exactly what it would take for me to have the right words to use. Ardis, Lynn, and the rest of the "Angels"...my heart is eternally yours.
Alan Coleman copyright 2001
bigal@teamflamingo.com
Alan lives in Georgia, where he is hard at work on his book, "Firmly In His Hands," based on a series of letters written by his wife, Dink. An inspiring portrayal of their successful approach to day-to-day living as they battled with Lou Gehrig's Disease, the book should be ready for publishing in the very near future. Dink joined the ranks of heavenly angels March 28th of 2000. Alan is our August Writer of the Month - read more about him and see a photo of Alan and the beautiful Dink, here: www.2theheart.com/writers_hall_of_fame/
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The Letter Box:
***Note from Susan: After reading Sharon Bryant's letter about giving her tresses to "Locks of Love", I was astounded at the incredible love that our 2theheart family has for others. Here are a few examples. You are the best online family this side of heaven!
Dear Sharon:
You will never know how happy I was to read your letter this morning. I have never had long hair, and about 5-6 years ago, I decided to go ahead and let it grow, just to see how it would look. Well, it has been fun, and it finally did get waist-length. My daughter has always had her hair long since she was little, but about a month ago, she had it cut. When she told me the hair dresser donates the hair to the CancerSociety for wigs for the Chemo-Kids, it did bring a lump to my throat. Right then and there, I knew that was what my pony tail must be for, and the next week went right down and 'donated' my pony tail for the kids. What a wonderful, great feeling!!! I am still trying to get used to this short hair, but do love it especially knowing where the rest of it is going, and why. Thanks for sharing your story ~~ I just love it, and you.
Hugs and Rainbow Smiles,
~Joyce
bojoflo22@utah-inter.net
Susan,
I had to chuckle when I read Sharon Bryant's comments today! A month ago I also cut off my long hair and donated it to "Locks of Love". My boyfriend went with me to lend support. I had to stand up so the hair could be cut properly, and as the first snip was made, I saw my boyfriend cringe. He had a pained expression on his face, our eyes locked in the mirror, he spun on his heel, and proceeded to go for a walk. So much for his moral support! I was a big baby, and cried for three days because I looked like the little dutch boy on the paint
can! Every time I got upset I realized that this was what someone must feel like when they lose their hair. At least I have the option to grow my hair back. It now takes me twice as long to do my hair, but I kept reminding myself that someone, somewhere is going to enjoy my crowing glory.
Hurrah for Sharon!
~Debbie
dorrico@greenwich.lib.ct.us
Susan,
Right now I'm a NAKED angel........lol I had my hair cut short in a short BOB.......and God, does it feel good. I have real thick hair and it was getting so long and hard to even put up. The other night I flipped over in bed, and my hair caught my hubby's neck while he was sleeping. I fell asleep, and he went to roll over and my hair had him caught. He thought someone had hold of him and it woke him up with him yelling, "HEY". Woke me up and we unwrapped his neck......lol.......and he said, "Isn't your hair long enough YET?" I said yeppers it sure is. It is being mailed out tomorrow to Locks Of Love, which you can type into your search engine and see why I did it. It will help someone out there. That's what it's all about!!
Hugs,
Sharon Bryant
1946@bellsouth.net
Dear Susan
Today must be the day of walking down memory lane as I was sitting here listening to some great gospel music and thinking of all the ways we have been blessed. Then I read today's story of Robin Dodson 's dream vacations. I laughed so hard, right out loud, as well know these journeys that just never fit what we think vacations are all about.
In May, we took vacation and my hubby's sister died , so we brought her home to bury. In July we went to Ontario for a proposed 2 week vacation and 5 hours after arriving, we received word that hubby's brother had died. Off we went back home to bury another.
This weekend we are going to go away for 4 days to a mountain top cottage. Just hubby, our 2 youngest kids and me. Yes we will go with cell phones, food and extra clothes. But mostly ,we will rejoice in having another chance at vacation and enjoying this wonderful world God has blessed us with. Thank you for sharing another humorous story to brighten our world and lighten our souls. God bless you all real big..
~Jana Church
j.church@ns.sympatico.ca
Robin,
Your story about quality family time really struck a chord in me! Our family planned three vacations that cost big bucks and ended up being nothing but whining and stress! (and that was just my husband) However, we had a power outage for two days last winter and it ended up being the best time we've ever had. We played games, read, slept by the fireplace, told stories and just had a ball together. It is our favorite family memory and now, every new years eve and easter eve we plan to shut off all the lights and 'camp out'. We call it out bi-annual family camp and everyone loves it! Thank you for sharing a story that so many of us can relate to!
Robbie Frazier frazier136
Oregon
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