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August 10, 2001 - Life Chapters by Linda Carlson
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"Adventure is worthwhile in itself."
~~Amelia Earhart~~
"Life Chapters"
by Linda M.P. Carlson
Yesterday, my hubby, our youngest son, and myself, went to look at an acreage. Now granted, most people our age are looking toward retirement and a move to town. We, on the other hand look to "escape" to the country, to the solitude of the quiet breezes blowing through the trees and crickets orchestrating their latest symphonies in the quiet night air.
We are just two people who have known nothing more than the noise and commotion of living "in town" since our marriage almost 33 years ago. Not that it hasn't been nice. It was convenient for raising our active children and scooting off to any number of assorted school activities from a short jaunt up the street. And if you ran out of milk, you'd simply run to the local grocery store and just pick up a half gallon when necessary. But we have decided that the reclusive life that is afforded one in the beautiful surroundings of a country home sounds inviting at this juncture in life.
Most of our friends and family would literally "pitch a fit" to know we were even considering such a thing. But, it's something we've wanted for quite a while now. And I think at ages 52 and 56, we're "grown up" enough to decide on our own.
The house we looked at yesterday was beautiful. It made 3 of our present home. It was enormous. As we pulled off the gravel road onto the long driveway, it made quite the visual impression instantaneously. It reminded one of the grand homes of the south. Four great white pillars commanded one's attention and demanded recognition as soon as the turn was made. The yard surrounding the home was perfect. Perfect trees, perfect flowers, perfect!!! And although we didn't think we were going to be able to get in to see what treasures lay waiting inside to complete our visionary delights, our inventive realtor found a way in. (The daughter of the owner had forgotten to lock up). Well, as we virtually watched our realtor, a wonderful christian man who is as honest as they come, slip through the window in the garage, our anticipation grew.
As he unlocked to let us in, we were not the least bit disappointed with what we discovered therein. Huge amounts of natural oak woodwork lining every nook and cranny of this house, which seemed fraught with dignity and character. The time worn wooden floors, which I'm sure were the ones that creaked as you walked across them at night throughout, were lovely. I envisioned my writing room here, a bedroom there - each new turn sparking new and innovative thoughts as to how and where we would place the "stuff" that makes it more than just a place to sleep, that makes it a place to belong. Every corner of every room seemed to "speak" that this was a very special place.
Eventually, the owner and his wife showed up. Both elderly, they had lived in this house 56 years. Raised two children there. Lived a full life together right where we stood. Mr. Swanson's wife had Alzheimer's. She flitted about in her surroundings while we were visiting, asking her "Merv" if he'd seen "mother" about. Upon receiving a negative answer responded, "Well, we'll just have to find her and tie her down, won't we?" with a big grin on her face.
While the men visited in the yard, I watched her go pick up a tree limb and carry it off to the small grove at the side of the yard. I observed her in these surroundings that she knew all so well. While her thoughts were in a far-off land, I saw her tiny frail self go on "auto-pilot" in a place that seemed so comfortable for her. Before we left, we received at least two hugs from this beautiful little lady, who I'm sure was quite unaware that we may well be the very ones who would remove her final connections to this place I was certain she had loved so long.
As I left, I had many thoughts to be sure. How would I, with the chronic illness I suffer, be able to manage there? Would I be able to manage so well as this little lady? Would I put the effort, love and care into making it a place of solace and peace for the backside of life for us to enjoy, as much as she had devoted her years into breathing so much of of the beginning of life for her own family? There is much to be weighed and mulled over before ever committing to something so permanent and monumentally big. It may never come about at all. We may keep looking. But I walked away from there seeing not just the asthetics and beauty that had been obvious immediately, but seeing and coming to appreciate, that it wasn't a house, but a home.
Some dear persons home that had been tended and cared for with years of love and devotion, and memories attached that I couldn't begin to fathom. And a subtle reminder that life is filled with living changes all about. Life chapters, in a continuing story that contains many, many different characters, that is continuously re-written and being added to from one life-span to the next. With a multitude of sub plots, beginnings and endings,and twists in the story.
I know this much. If we do end up there one day, there is an unspoken heart's promise to Mrs. Swanson, that I will love it well, and try to breathe the same passion of living into making it home as she was once able to do. And there won't be a day passing, that I don't picture her there.
Linda Carlson copyright 2001
jljc@netins.net
Linda is our Writer of the Month for March 2001, and is author of "The Dancer" and "My Sad Familiar", both of which can be read on our Writers Hall of fame page, along with more of her poetry.
http://www.2theheart.com/writers_hall_of_fame
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I received a very sweet card in the mail from Maxine Wright. She is trying to recover from her brain surgery, but is very weak and still can't swallow very well or speak above a whisper. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers and continue to send her email! She said to thank everyone for their outpouring of love and she is slowly "on the mend".
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I too am an insomniac and it drives me crazy! It seems the loneliest time and I often feel as though no one else on earth is awake besides me! Your story made me smile and the lone pine tree in the snowy night was almost visible to me - and delightful! Thank you for yet again another wonderful article!
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"Pine Trees and Polar Bears" was a comfort to me. I have a really hard time sleeping, like Deb, and my husband, dogs and kids all snooze away while I lie awake feeling sorry for myself. Deb's story taught me to look for beauty even in the night-time darkness. Signs of God's love for us are always there. What a stunning picture of the snowy landscape - thans Deb!
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Independence Day really struck a chord. My father is very sick and will not live much longer. I have a hard time knowing what to say or do and just want to give him comfort. Miriam's story helped me understand that loving comfort and reassurance that he is in God's hands and that we will all be fine is just what to do. I am so thankful for this story and the help it gave me!
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I wanted to thank you so very much for sharing my story. I have received e-mails from several of your subscribers that have really touched my heart. Some that were touched my the story of my uncle and some that mentioned they are in a similar situation and seeing how my family pulled together allowed her to see that family can give each other strength. I see that my story has touched the lives of others and that makes me happy and I am sure is making my uncle smile from up above.
Thank you again.
Miriam Campo
Miry316@aol.com
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