"This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind... let it be something good."
Author Unknown
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This story really grabbed my heart. Sometimes it amazes me how many of our 2theheart family have suffered through similar trials. It is then that I realize how great God's plan for us is and how He
intended for us to join together and become a part of each others'
lives. Be sure to send Amy an email.
HIS GIFT TO ME
By Amy S. Toohill
My father was my Rock of Gibraltar, my strength. He was such a
strong man with so much wisdom. As the youngest of ten children, you'd think I'd just get lost in the crowd - but my Dad and I had a
very special relationship. He used to call me "Schnook". I grew up with chronic pain and had a real hard time as a kid fitting in. My
Dad was always there for me lending me a shoulder to cry on and an endless supply of hugs. He gave the kind of hugs that made you feel so safe and protected. And he never gave up on me, even when I wanted to give up on myself. He gave me the strength that I didn't think I had.
In July of 1992, my Dad was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. He was given two weeks to two months to live. On October 10th - two and a half months later, my Dad's final journey here on earth ended. It's was the hardest thing I've ever experienced in my life. I felt as if my world had crumbled all around me. My Mentor, my Rock was gone. But as hard as the experience was, in those two and a half months, I learned so much from him. Lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.
From the moment that my Dad was diagnosed with cancer, he started to prepare himself and everyone he loved for his final journey. He faced his death with such grace and dignity. He left no words unspoken. We shared so much those two and a half months and made so many memories.
One particular memory will always stand out in my mind. It was a day in September, about a month before he died. I went out to the hospital to spend my evening with him like I did every day. I could tell something was on his mind. He told me that he wanted me to read something that he wrote and let him know what I thought. He handed me a piece of paper and as I started to read, I realized that it was his eulogy. He had written his own eulogy for his funeral. Although I wanted to rip it up and pretend that he was going to be with me forever, I knew that this was very important to him and so I read it. It was so beautiful, yet I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for him to write.
I never considered myself a strong person, in fact just the
opposite. I always looked to my Dad for strength, and he was always right there ready to give it. On that day in September, as I read my fathers eulogy through my tears, an overwhelming sense of pride came over me. I was so proud that my Dad actually felt that I was strong enough to handle that. That he felt comfortable enough to share such a personal and emotional thing with me. I can't tell you how honored I was that he wanted to share that with me.
My Dad has been gone for nine and a half years now. It's been hard, and not a day goes by that I don't think about him and wish he was here with me. I miss him very much. I miss his wisdom, I miss his hugs and most of all, I miss hearing him call me "Schnook". But I feel his presence and I take alot of comfort in knowing that he is up in Heaven looking down on me. It's ironic, he was always my strength. But that day in the hospital when he asked me to read his eulogy, I think it was his way of showing me that I had my own source of strength inside of me the whole time.... and that I was going to be ok. That was his gift to me.
Amy S. Toohill
tfarmz@farmwagon.comMy Dad told me before he died that he'd talk to the "Man Upstairs"
about giving me a life filled with love and happiness. Six months
later I met my husband, Bob. We've been married now for seven years and reside in DeWitt, Illinois. In memory of my father, I have become very involved in a wonderful ministry called Chemo Angels, where we offer support for people with cancer. "We begin by imagining that we are giving to them; we end by realizing that they have enriched us." Become a ChemoAngel today....
www.chemoangels.com Copyright 2000 by Amy S. Toohill, All rights reserved
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The Letter Box:
Dear 2theheart,
Although I am a Christian woman, my father is Jewish and both my
brothers are as well. It was with great joy that I read and forwarded to them the story "Learning From Susan Baram"! My father says thank you for recognizing and having the courage to share the beauty in all religious beliefs. High praise from him! What a joyous story and a woman of such strength and faith! Rabbi Rosen wrote a wonderful sermon. I will always treasure this issue of 2theheart - it brought our family much joy.
~Sarah Kleinman
Dear Rabbi Rosen,
I was delighted with your sermon and wondered if I may share it with my Baptist congregation. We often share stories of faith in our newsletter - of all beliefs, as it is God's way for all His children
to first show deep faith in Him and secondly to learn from one
another. Thank you Rabbi for this beautiful story of faith. My love
and prayers for continued health to Susan Baram.
Sincerely,
Matthew Michaels, St. Paul Minnesota
Dear Susan,
As you know I am a Chemo Angel doing Special Assignments. As such I send MANY cards and packages in a month. I also volunteer at the Senior Center and send cards to our "Birthday Buddies". It was quite a surprise to find SOOOOO many in my mail box!!
Thank You Dear Friend for all you do for this web site. I am glad you are growing in your writting and are going to spend more time on/with your family! I won't say I will not miss the daily messages but , yes there comes a time when we must set limits and stop spreading ourselves so thin. Good Luck with your 'new' adventures! Looking to enjoying the shortened 2theheart.
Hersheys (Hugs and Kisses), and Blessings too,
Geneva
Dearest Susan,
I'm behind as usual on my e-mail reading, so have just now read and digested (a tad unwillingly) your message below about reducing 2TheHeart to 4 days and eliminating Funny Fridays for a while. I do understand and comprehend your reasons, and applaud you for doing all the many things that you already do so well - writing, mothering, reaching out to so many other people, keeping 2TheHeart up and going - just to name a few unending tasks. Oh dear lady, how grateful I am to know you, and be one of 2TheHeart's many satisfied family members. You'll not know this side of Heaven how much our friendship warms my soul and blesses me in countless ways. Thank you for your labor of love on this delightful, refreshing Christian site. Remain focused on your goals, Sooz, and on God. Then you'll find that all else will fit into place properly.
Know that I love you always,
Sandi
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